We just celebrated Mother’s day last week and it’s wonderful to be able to celebrate all of the beautiful mothers in our lives. However, it wasn’t until after I lost a baby that Mother’s day feels a little different. If I can be honest; I always wake up on Mother’s day feeling “some kind of way”. It’s strange because of the fact that it’s a day to celebrate all the wonderful people that God has blessed me with in my life. Yet, at times I feel like I need space to not focus on everything and everybody else but a moment to look inward and concentrate my focus on my own emotions. #Selfcare
Often times we think of selfcare as being a outward care for ourselves. We workout, make better food choices, have a spa day, and sometimes we go on vacation. The self-care that I'm talking about is an inward type of care where we focus on our spiritual, emotional and mental wellbeing.
This post is more about the importance of allowing yourself space to not be okay. Self-care is selfish at times, and that’s ok. You have to allow yourself the space that you need mentally, emotionally, spiritually and quite frankly every area of your life to deal with life. Life can be tricky at times. Life can also be unfair. Life can also be joyous, exciting, liberating and in all honesty it just depends on the moment. However, if you don’t allow yourself the space to process your experiences and your feelings, you will carry around those emotions like an over packed piece of luggage at the airport.
I use that analogy because we don’t really want to pay for the extra weight, so we find ourselves unloading things from our bags at an uncomfortable and inappropriate place. We find ourselves in a place in our lives where the baggage that we’re carrying doesn’t fit any longer. It’s too much to take with us. Have you ever stood at the counter of the airport and had to pull shoes and all the “heavy items” out of your bag because it was over capacity? This is how it works in our lives when we don’t process things in the appropriate time and place. We begin to unload and dump all the extra stuff in an awkward place.
Many of us go through life doing this in different situations. For me it’s loss of a child and the struggle of infertility. For someone else it may be loss, grief, trauma, emotional abuse, or a host of other things that life throws our way that we have to process. The processing impacts our ability to operate in different areas of our life. So I wanted to take a moment to share a few techniques in processing your emotions that I have found to be helpful:
#1. PAUSE
Take a moment to stop and acknowledge what you’re feeling. It’s a natural response to sometimes do the opposite. We try to stay busy because we don’t have to deal with the onset of what we’re going though. However there is a release that comes when you pause and acknowledge your emotions.
#2. GIVE IT SPACE
Often times we suppress or bury the emotions that we don’t want to deal with. In return in the most inopportune time it will surface. Step two is just allowing you the space necessary to process, to feel, and to surrender all those emotions. In order to receive you have to release.
#3. SAY NO
It’s ok to say no to things that don’t fit into the space that you’re in. Set boundaries for your emotional processing and spiritual wellbeing.
#4. ACCEPTANCE
Give it space to be exactly what it is. Acceptance is the willingness to process the emotion that you are experiencing (grief, loss, anger, sadness etc.). Not only should you accept the emotions that you are feeling, but acknowledge that everything in life happen for a reason. There is a scripture in Romans 8 that says “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose”. Accept the plan that God has for your life. It may be uncomfortable, and it may be challenging, but there is a purpose behind every step in your journey.
#5. RELEASE
I had a friend that used to tell me how much she loved yoga. I didn’t understand until after I tried it. It’s something so satisfying about being present in the moment. Whether or not you choose yoga as a release, try to be more intentional on breathing in the new and releasing the old. Be more intentional in living in the moment. When you release all the things that clutter your mind, you can focus more on what your soul needs to bring you joy, peace, happiness, and fulfillment. Sometimes it just comes from releasing the stress of carrying around those bags.
#6. SURRENDER
When you surrender to your journey you find peace. Often times we try to control things that are out of our control. When we do this, it causes confusion, chaos, disappointment and sometimes resentment. Surrendering allows me to give up my own thoughts, plans, emotions and beliefs about a situation or a circumstance and turn it over to God. Trust me #4 can be difficult, it’s not an easy process but he will give you revelation into its purpose. Let me be clear, it may not be the revelation that you desire in the moment, but it is for your good.
Whether you believe it or not those bags can get heavy, and the longer you carry them the more you put into them. So I want to encourage you just as I encourage myself; take inventory on what you’re carrying. Take the time necessary to unpack your stuff. It’s like when you’re standing in the airport over packed, overextended, over capacity and you realize that half of the stuff that you’ve packed wasn’t even necessary for this part of your journey.
Remember Phil 4:6-7 says “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus”.
Let us Pray: Dear Lord we thank you today. We thank you for this moment. We thank you for the breath that we breathe and the ability to breathe in the new and release the old. We thank you for allowing us to rest in the present moment. The present is where we can find peace, the present is where we can find joy, and the present is where we can find you.
Thank you for your voice that whispers in our quite moments, for your hand that comforts when we are trying to process and unpack things that we don’t understand. Thank you for your peace that surpasses all understanding and for you love that flows unconditionally. Today I pray for every woman reading this that may not have realized that they were carrying a load incorrectly. They’re carrying things that should be unpacked, and they’re carrying things that should be released. Allow them to know it’s not what they’re carrying; it’s how they’re carrying it. It’s not that the load is too much, and it’s not that they’re capacity is not big enough.
Touch them today to see that the rest that they seek resides in you, the comfort that the desire rest in you, the strength for the journey rest in you and the unconditional love that they are so deserving of comes from the father in heaven. Now Lord, help us to embrace our journey. Help us to embrace the good, the bad and the ugly; knowing that all things will work together for our good. In Jesus name we pray, Amen!
Thank you for joining me on this journey. I hope this message blessed you today. Remember to like, comment and share! Be blessed and take care of yourself, mind, body and soul!
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